Sorry about the delay between the last few posts. The past couple of days have been hectic around this part of the world. I wish I could say that that won't happen again. Unfortunately that would be a lie. I am about to leave KAF, and therefore internet connectivity, somewhat functional air conditioning, (mostly) indoor plumbing, and reliable electricity.
As soon as I am able, I will update again, but I am unsure when that will actually occur. So in case I don't make it on before, congrats to Erin and Dan - wish I could be there to celebrate with everyone. I hope you don't have any Wedding Planner style hijinks, I know you two will have a special day and I know Avery will do something regrettable. I wish I could be there to be my lovely wife's date for the evening. And to see what Avery is going to do. Mostly, to be my wife's date, but kind of because of the gravity of the stupidity that will no doubt happen.
Oh and happy birthday to Baby Dico - you have to let me cook for you.
Friday, May 20, 2011
National Pastime
In the United States, the traditional pastime is baseball. Spring training happens in early March, the season shapes up by June, the All-Star break is in mid-summer and then the champions are crowned in late October. There is the seventh inning stretch, Fenway Park (another shout out to the Boston Dunstans and Miguel Jones), peanuts and Cracker Jacks, nickel beer night and shagging fly balls.
Afghanistan doesn't have baseball. The closest thing that they have is fighting. Not like boxing, martial arts or any sanctioned sporting event. The fighting they do instead involves improvised explosives, ambush and guerilla tactics and its been going on for hundreds of years in the same pattern.
In late spring, the beginnings of fighting season start to take shape. After crop harvesting is complete, usually around the end of May, the fighting picks up and moves forward until the dominant players start to take charge in mid July. In late September/October, those left standing are usually considered the champions and best set to take charge heading into the off-season.
The Afghanis aren't too particular about who they fight. They will fight anybody, and they love to fight with each other. They don't really discriminate though, if it moves, and is disagreeable to them in any way, they will fight it. Currently they have the NATO/ISAF folks to pick a fight with, and despite not having electricity, they are pretty good at it. I guess they have to be good at something, in the U.S. I would say we are good at having indoor plumbing, not such a priority in this part of Asia.
So let's all root for our home team, how about it?
Afghanistan doesn't have baseball. The closest thing that they have is fighting. Not like boxing, martial arts or any sanctioned sporting event. The fighting they do instead involves improvised explosives, ambush and guerilla tactics and its been going on for hundreds of years in the same pattern.
In late spring, the beginnings of fighting season start to take shape. After crop harvesting is complete, usually around the end of May, the fighting picks up and moves forward until the dominant players start to take charge in mid July. In late September/October, those left standing are usually considered the champions and best set to take charge heading into the off-season.
The Afghanis aren't too particular about who they fight. They will fight anybody, and they love to fight with each other. They don't really discriminate though, if it moves, and is disagreeable to them in any way, they will fight it. Currently they have the NATO/ISAF folks to pick a fight with, and despite not having electricity, they are pretty good at it. I guess they have to be good at something, in the U.S. I would say we are good at having indoor plumbing, not such a priority in this part of Asia.
So let's all root for our home team, how about it?
Sunday, May 15, 2011
How Bazaar
Saturdays on KAF are not that different than any other day. In a combat zone there are no real 'weekends', things just sort of chug along as they normally would. One exception is the KAF Bazaar near the NATO end of the air base.
The بازار as it is spelled in Urdu ( I couldn't find the Pashto translation) is a collection of merchants who pay a fee to set up stands on the end of the airfield that is the most cosmopolitan with the largest mix of NATO forces living close by.
The merchants feature everything from beautiful, hand stitched Afghan rugs and exotic looking antiques and wood carvings, to precious stones and jewelery and just about every fake purse brand and knock-off Rolex watch you could ever want.
There was even a nice collection of the discarded military issue items that I can only assume were cleaned by the locals who do the garbage collection and then placed for sale back to the same people who threw them away - a great way to limit overhead and increase profits.
There were also numerous DVD 'retailers' offering the same selection of films that are currently in theaters back home in the U.S. which aside from the titles being written in Mandarin, are probably just really nice advanced copies that I am sure were obtained through legal channels.
Not one of these 'entrepreneurs' had a McConaughey section, and I suggested to more than one of them that if they really wanted to increase their bottom line, that would be the way to go.
If you don't have the OMC hit in your head already, here it is:
http://youtu.be/TfJe8hQ8ha0
The بازار as it is spelled in Urdu ( I couldn't find the Pashto translation) is a collection of merchants who pay a fee to set up stands on the end of the airfield that is the most cosmopolitan with the largest mix of NATO forces living close by.
 |
| The tent scene where everyone offered me "Good quality. Number one price" |
The merchants feature everything from beautiful, hand stitched Afghan rugs and exotic looking antiques and wood carvings, to precious stones and jewelery and just about every fake purse brand and knock-off Rolex watch you could ever want.
There was even a nice collection of the discarded military issue items that I can only assume were cleaned by the locals who do the garbage collection and then placed for sale back to the same people who threw them away - a great way to limit overhead and increase profits.
There were also numerous DVD 'retailers' offering the same selection of films that are currently in theaters back home in the U.S. which aside from the titles being written in Mandarin, are probably just really nice advanced copies that I am sure were obtained through legal channels.
Not one of these 'entrepreneurs' had a McConaughey section, and I suggested to more than one of them that if they really wanted to increase their bottom line, that would be the way to go.
If you don't have the OMC hit in your head already, here it is:
http://youtu.be/TfJe8hQ8ha0
Friday, May 13, 2011
I'll take what's in the box
So for the longest time, a way over-used, cliched catch phrase has been "Try to think outside the box"
I have never really understood what that meant. I guess it's supposed to be a way to apply new ideas to a complex problem. Now the U.S. Army has not been insulated from this phrase and I have been told on more than one occasion since arriving in Afghanistan to "Do some outside the box thinking." This is thrown around quite frequently when discussing counterinsurgency strategies, and how best to win over the Afghan population.
Despite this outside the box rhetoric, it seems that the Army has instead taken a page out of Justin Timberlake and Lonely Island's playbook and put everything into a box.
Much like the Enigma 'code breaker in a box' made famous in the WWII Navy film U-571, the military continues to create useful items packaged "In a Box"
Here is a small list of the items that the Army currently fields in OEF that come conveniently packaged this way:
RIAB (pronounced ReeAb) Used for PsyOps(Psychological Operations) its is the best acronym in the bunch - Radio In A Box.
CON 150 - FOB(Rember this one? Forward Operations Base) in a box that can house, feed and has bathrooms for 150 people and can be set up in a few short days
Interrogation center in a box - this one is pretty self explanatory (no water boarding area though - I asked)
USO in a box - computers and phones for soldiers to call and email home from anywhere in the world that can again, be set up in just a few days.
That is just a small list of the latest and greatest ways to fight a war in neat little packages.
Here's to celebrating Friday the 13th the Lonely Island Way - Step One: Cut a hole in the box.
Man, remember the first fifteen guys you saw with that Halloween costume. 2007 was fun.
I have never really understood what that meant. I guess it's supposed to be a way to apply new ideas to a complex problem. Now the U.S. Army has not been insulated from this phrase and I have been told on more than one occasion since arriving in Afghanistan to "Do some outside the box thinking." This is thrown around quite frequently when discussing counterinsurgency strategies, and how best to win over the Afghan population.
Despite this outside the box rhetoric, it seems that the Army has instead taken a page out of Justin Timberlake and Lonely Island's playbook and put everything into a box.
Much like the Enigma 'code breaker in a box' made famous in the WWII Navy film U-571, the military continues to create useful items packaged "In a Box"
Here is a small list of the items that the Army currently fields in OEF that come conveniently packaged this way:
RIAB (pronounced ReeAb) Used for PsyOps(Psychological Operations) its is the best acronym in the bunch - Radio In A Box.
CON 150 - FOB(Rember this one? Forward Operations Base) in a box that can house, feed and has bathrooms for 150 people and can be set up in a few short days
Interrogation center in a box - this one is pretty self explanatory (no water boarding area though - I asked)
USO in a box - computers and phones for soldiers to call and email home from anywhere in the world that can again, be set up in just a few days.
That is just a small list of the latest and greatest ways to fight a war in neat little packages.
Here's to celebrating Friday the 13th the Lonely Island Way - Step One: Cut a hole in the box.
Man, remember the first fifteen guys you saw with that Halloween costume. 2007 was fun.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Another Man's Treasure
I have been scouring Kandahar Air Field for medical supplies. Not that I don't have my own. I ordered thousands of dollars of medical and trauma equipment before leaving Alaska planning to sustain the medical needs of 800-900 soldiers for three to four months. A great plan, with high-speed, cool gadgets and the best field equipment tax money can buy.
Unfortunately it is still sitting in shipping containers in Karachi, Pakistan. Now, you don't need to be an expert in geography to know that it does not help me deliver meds and supplies in Kandahar province.
So I have been on a Fool's Gold style treasure hunt for the past week begging, borrowing and stealing in order to provide equipment to the 200 plus soldiers currently on the ground, and the other 600 plus due in over the course of the next week.
I have managed to order some supplies through legitimate channels, borrow some from the unit that is preparing to go home, and on more than one occasion been told in no uncertain terms that I would not be getting any help from a certain country that shares a common northern border with most of the United States. (Turns out that 'F*ck Off' translates pretty well from French to English)
I think my biggest score was a set of reasonably used golf clubs in a dumpster behind the Air Force hospital. Not that these are the nicest, but I also managed to get some gently used medical storage containers from the same spot.
So after a great deal of wheeling and dealing, along with a touch of dumpster diving, I have four fully functioning aid stations worth of medical equipment and medications that are on their way to the little FOBs and COPs(Combat Outpost) that we will begin occupying this week.
Bleep - that one was for you Baby Dico
Unfortunately it is still sitting in shipping containers in Karachi, Pakistan. Now, you don't need to be an expert in geography to know that it does not help me deliver meds and supplies in Kandahar province.
So I have been on a Fool's Gold style treasure hunt for the past week begging, borrowing and stealing in order to provide equipment to the 200 plus soldiers currently on the ground, and the other 600 plus due in over the course of the next week.
I have managed to order some supplies through legitimate channels, borrow some from the unit that is preparing to go home, and on more than one occasion been told in no uncertain terms that I would not be getting any help from a certain country that shares a common northern border with most of the United States. (Turns out that 'F*ck Off' translates pretty well from French to English)
I think my biggest score was a set of reasonably used golf clubs in a dumpster behind the Air Force hospital. Not that these are the nicest, but I also managed to get some gently used medical storage containers from the same spot.
So after a great deal of wheeling and dealing, along with a touch of dumpster diving, I have four fully functioning aid stations worth of medical equipment and medications that are on their way to the little FOBs and COPs(Combat Outpost) that we will begin occupying this week.
Bleep - that one was for you Baby Dico
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Beer Bust at the Boardwalk
I know, I know, I went an entire blog entry without referencing a McConaughey flick. I promise I won't let that happen again. So while my Friday night in Kandahar didn't quite rival a 70's high school kegger it was a pretty good time, all things considered. KAF has a main central area with coffee shops, and souvenir stands. This area, called 'the boardwalk', even has a KFC and TGI Friday's (complete with the 'It's Always Friday in Here' sign). There are even a few shops that serve non-alcoholic beer that complies with General Order #1 forbidding consumption of alcohol.
CPT Dickman, 1LT Maffey - my Headquarters XO(executive officer) and I sat down to enjoy some 'Near Beer' and stop talking about the responsibilities of a battalion surgeon and instead catch up on old times. We toasted to a successful and safe deployment for Mike and his unit of stryker cavalry. Mike spent the last 11 months here in Afghanistan, not far from where the unit I am assigned to will be working.
Dr. Dickman has been a great help passing on lessons learned as I have been working to plan medical operations, and it has been nice to see another friend so far from home. He also happens to be the guy who helped me get into and out of a bunch of trouble during our time together in residency - which means we spent the bulk of the night laughing about the good times DeWitt Army Hospital afforded us.
In fact, if it weren't for the F-16's taking off and landing every 20 minutes(and that the beer contains 0.3% alcohol), it wouldn't have been that different than grabbing a drink and catching up back home. We had so much fun that we decided to make a pact and meet back in Kandahar every year on May 6th at that exact same spot.
That last part was made up, sort of.
CPT Dickman, 1LT Maffey - my Headquarters XO(executive officer) and I sat down to enjoy some 'Near Beer' and stop talking about the responsibilities of a battalion surgeon and instead catch up on old times. We toasted to a successful and safe deployment for Mike and his unit of stryker cavalry. Mike spent the last 11 months here in Afghanistan, not far from where the unit I am assigned to will be working.
Dr. Dickman has been a great help passing on lessons learned as I have been working to plan medical operations, and it has been nice to see another friend so far from home. He also happens to be the guy who helped me get into and out of a bunch of trouble during our time together in residency - which means we spent the bulk of the night laughing about the good times DeWitt Army Hospital afforded us.
In fact, if it weren't for the F-16's taking off and landing every 20 minutes(and that the beer contains 0.3% alcohol), it wouldn't have been that different than grabbing a drink and catching up back home. We had so much fun that we decided to make a pact and meet back in Kandahar every year on May 6th at that exact same spot.
 |
| Dumb and Dumber |
That last part was made up, sort of.
Friday, May 6, 2011
These Boots Are Made For Walking
So part of my job while deployed is to plan medical operations. Not like the buzzing, battery operated board game by Milton Bradley/Hasbro, but instead it involves figuring out where to put the pieces of medical equipment on a battlefield to help save soldiers' lives.
Piece of cake right? They teach that during second year of medical school. Maybe there is a merit badge for that.
Oh wait.
I have never done this sort of work before, and every time I accomplish something or figure something out, I learn just how much I don't know and how much more work I have to do.
Factor in that the people who have been doing this job the last few years speak French as their primary language, and the learning curve has been steep and communications have been pretty difficult.
The worst part has been walking all over on a wild goose chase to track down maps, medical supplies, battle group and task force contacts. I have averaged a longer commute on foot here at KAF than my worst day of Washington DC traffic. Now the Army gave me two very nice, very expensive mountain hiking boots right before coming to Afghanistan that were lovely to use in Alaska. They are probably great for the rocky, mountain terrain where I will be when I leave this lovely air base, but for just putting miles under your feet, they have proved to be awful.
Enter the fobit boot. A Fobit is someone who never leaves the comfort of the base area or FOB(Forward Operations Base). Another term for them is POG - people other than grunt. Right now I definitely fall into both of these categories and so I purchased a pair of boots that are more basketball shoe than combat boot. They are completely unauthorized for regular uniform wear, and have a zipper on the side for quick entry and exit. I am sure that they were manufactured in a sweat shop that is probably not that far from here and they even have a Converse brand label on them I am going to let you all in on a secret though - they are fantastic. They have changed my entire perspective on KAF. I now have a spring in my step. So even though it makes me look less infantry (which is an uphill battle as the nerdiest member of the infantry battalion staff), I am celebrating my fobit boots as I walk to my next stop on the scavenger hunt of planning medical ops.
This picture sums up the difference between the Fobit and the 11Bravo - the military specialty for infantryman.
Cheers for now
Piece of cake right? They teach that during second year of medical school. Maybe there is a merit badge for that.
Oh wait.
I have never done this sort of work before, and every time I accomplish something or figure something out, I learn just how much I don't know and how much more work I have to do.
Factor in that the people who have been doing this job the last few years speak French as their primary language, and the learning curve has been steep and communications have been pretty difficult.
The worst part has been walking all over on a wild goose chase to track down maps, medical supplies, battle group and task force contacts. I have averaged a longer commute on foot here at KAF than my worst day of Washington DC traffic. Now the Army gave me two very nice, very expensive mountain hiking boots right before coming to Afghanistan that were lovely to use in Alaska. They are probably great for the rocky, mountain terrain where I will be when I leave this lovely air base, but for just putting miles under your feet, they have proved to be awful.
Enter the fobit boot. A Fobit is someone who never leaves the comfort of the base area or FOB(Forward Operations Base). Another term for them is POG - people other than grunt. Right now I definitely fall into both of these categories and so I purchased a pair of boots that are more basketball shoe than combat boot. They are completely unauthorized for regular uniform wear, and have a zipper on the side for quick entry and exit. I am sure that they were manufactured in a sweat shop that is probably not that far from here and they even have a Converse brand label on them I am going to let you all in on a secret though - they are fantastic. They have changed my entire perspective on KAF. I now have a spring in my step. So even though it makes me look less infantry (which is an uphill battle as the nerdiest member of the infantry battalion staff), I am celebrating my fobit boots as I walk to my next stop on the scavenger hunt of planning medical ops.
This picture sums up the difference between the Fobit and the 11Bravo - the military specialty for infantryman.
Cheers for now
Thursday, May 5, 2011
13 Conversations About One Thing
Yeah, that about sums up my first week in Kandahar. For those of you who have been here, you know how big this place is, and how much of the same thing exists over and over again. I think there might be a redundancy department of redundancy here.
Everywhere I went to get an answer over the last week, I was met with a "I can't help you, but here is where you need to go to get that information." What's beautiful is that everywhere requires at least a mile walk and the temps have crept into the triple digits by noon everyday.
Not that I can complain that much. Dr. Michael Dickman has been here during the past week and I have really learned a lot from his experiences. He and I went to residency together and worked closely for a couple of years sharing the 'Man Cave' office prior to its early termination. He is leaving Afghanistan (he wears the ACU pattern I mentioned last time) and has spent the last two months in the area where I am about to move to. He has done some great things and is another hero that gets to go home to his wife and four (I know right?) kids back in Germany.
Internet is slow, but now works in my bunk area and I will be better at documenting and sharing.
Oh yeah - did you guys hear that one of the higher ups in Al Qaeda was killed? It was like a bad rumor in high school as the news spread amongst the 40,000 people who call this little place home away from home. Everyone is bracing for some retaliation, but fighting season still has a few weeks before it really gets going.
Feliz Cinco de Mayo
Everywhere I went to get an answer over the last week, I was met with a "I can't help you, but here is where you need to go to get that information." What's beautiful is that everywhere requires at least a mile walk and the temps have crept into the triple digits by noon everyday.
Not that I can complain that much. Dr. Michael Dickman has been here during the past week and I have really learned a lot from his experiences. He and I went to residency together and worked closely for a couple of years sharing the 'Man Cave' office prior to its early termination. He is leaving Afghanistan (he wears the ACU pattern I mentioned last time) and has spent the last two months in the area where I am about to move to. He has done some great things and is another hero that gets to go home to his wife and four (I know right?) kids back in Germany.
Internet is slow, but now works in my bunk area and I will be better at documenting and sharing.
Oh yeah - did you guys hear that one of the higher ups in Al Qaeda was killed? It was like a bad rumor in high school as the news spread amongst the 40,000 people who call this little place home away from home. Everyone is bracing for some retaliation, but fighting season still has a few weeks before it really gets going.
Feliz Cinco de Mayo
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Failure To Launch
Yup, just like the McConaughey rom-com, I was all ready to go, just to turn right back around. We loaded a C-17 with 160 soldiers, airmen, marines and all of our luggage. We took off while sitting in a less than comfortable 'seat' only to turn around 45 minutes into our flight because some mechanical issue wouldn't allow the plane to perform the required 'combat zone landing'.
I am a big fan of getting delayed in an airport for mechanical reasons. I want that stuff fixed while me, anyone I care about and the plane are still on the ground. It is much less comforting to have to announce this issue an hour before entering an area where you have to wear a kevlar helmet and they turn the plane's lights off so as not to make a large 'shoot at me' target in the sky.
After landing back in Kyrgyzstan - which is just as lovely in April as you have probably read about, we sat around for another 8 hours(of course we had to reload all the people and bags) before boarding a different C-17, one that had fully functioning flaps.
When we were 25 minutes outside of Kandahar, they turned on some red cabin lights, made everyone put on their helmets and then proceeded to take us on a roller coaster ride provided by the U.S. Air Force where we shed 25,000 feet in a very short time to touch down in Kandahar Air Base. So a full 12 hours after I was supposed to arrive, here I am, sitting in the heat of Kandahar Air Field. Waiting to start the next phase of my time in this hot, stinky country.
Hope you all are well.
Pedro
I am a big fan of getting delayed in an airport for mechanical reasons. I want that stuff fixed while me, anyone I care about and the plane are still on the ground. It is much less comforting to have to announce this issue an hour before entering an area where you have to wear a kevlar helmet and they turn the plane's lights off so as not to make a large 'shoot at me' target in the sky.
After landing back in Kyrgyzstan - which is just as lovely in April as you have probably read about, we sat around for another 8 hours(of course we had to reload all the people and bags) before boarding a different C-17, one that had fully functioning flaps.
When we were 25 minutes outside of Kandahar, they turned on some red cabin lights, made everyone put on their helmets and then proceeded to take us on a roller coaster ride provided by the U.S. Air Force where we shed 25,000 feet in a very short time to touch down in Kandahar Air Base. So a full 12 hours after I was supposed to arrive, here I am, sitting in the heat of Kandahar Air Field. Waiting to start the next phase of my time in this hot, stinky country.
Hope you all are well.
Pedro
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)